Oh, Yahoo Answers. Why do you torment me so?

A few eye-poppers from the ol' Y!A:

What do you think of the name Valentyn?
I want a boy and I really like the name Valentyn (pronounced valenteen)

Which baby girl name is the best?
Leighton Olivia
Braylee Summer
Britley Summer
Leighton Summer

[I must interject here. There's nothing wrong with Olivia or Summer, and I could even be persuaded to accept Leighton. I mean, at least I can imagine a grown woman and/or a grandmother named Leighton. It's obnoxiously trendy, but whatever. It works. It's the Braylee and Britley that really get to me.

And why? Just look at the title of the question. What baby girl name? This mommy is only thinking of naming a baby, not of naming a human being who will be a baby, a child, a teen, an adult, maybe a parent, maybe a grandparent, maybe a CEO, maybe the president, maybe a professor or doctor who would like to be taken seriously. And eventually, with luck, an old woman. Braylee? Really? An old granny sitting in a rocker yelling at kids to get off her lawn, and she's named Braylee? Or Britley? Come ON, people! You're not naming a baby. You're naming a person.]

Ahstyn Noelle or Paisley Noelle?
Please don't comment on how you hate either name. I am trying to decide between the two for my baby.

[Okay, then, I won't comment on -- oh. It's my blog, so in fact I will comment. This one is tricky. Ashton doesn't give me the heebie-jeebies. It's a boy's name, but whatevs. I can deal with the unisexery. It's the gratuitous Y I have a serious problem with. Ashton is just fine as it is. Don't make it "unique" (read: silly-looking) by spelling it all jacked-up-like.

As for Paisley, I, L, actually do not dislike this name. It's unusual but it sounds feminine and it has a little bit of a vintage, steampunk-but-not-irritatingly-so vibe to it. And I can see any kind of person wearing the name without problems. However, I included it here because I know G hates the name, and G is technically the coauthor of this blog, although she hasn't yet made any actual contributions. It's okay; I'm going to wring her for canning lessons soon so she'll make up for it.]

[INCREDIBLE NEWS FLASH EDIT!! Sharp-eyed reader Kissare (not her real name) points out that it's not Ashtyn, but AHSTYN. Yeah. Austin, but spelled even stupider than I originally thought. I take back all my compliments. This mommy sux.]
What are some ways to spell this name?
Do You Like This Name??
i like long names so don't tell me its long i already know and like it.
don't change any of the names or tell me too i just need ways to spell it please and im sorry if you dont like the name just please only tell me ways to spell it thanxx love sadie

the name is:
ArielLann(lynn)Muhrie(Marie) KiLeeah(KyLeeah)-Fai(fay)
pleas help thank you

[Pleas help, indeed.]

[Oh, dear. The author of the above post has an addendum. After reading Yahoo Answers' comments, she has this to add:]

okay all of you that want to make fun of me too bad okay. i like this name okay. and for all you people who tell me im stupid for spelling it like i am and asking for more ways im sorry im not like all you ignorant rude people who like to spell your children's names just like every other person in this world. i want mine diffrent and when people spell her name think its diffrent and beautiful
my own sisters name is heaven kamberlea-fai. thank yout to the people who have helped me and no thank you to the people who have smart mouthed my question

[I think the Bhaybiee(Baby)Jyeexiss(Jesus) is crying.]