It's A Travesty

Check out some of the names on an "I'm thinking of naming my girl this" list straight from Yahoo Answers. Be prepared for horror.

Amity Lane, Dariella Harlow, Travesty Brielle, Willow Travesty, Journey Lane, Sonnet Viola, Harvest Harlow, Ocean Lily, Thandie Carter, Santino Carmine [yes, Santino is a boy's name], Loyal Travesty, Havilyn Lee, Havilyn Loyal.

When called out on how naming your kid Travesty is a really, really bad idea, the mommy-to-be responded with:

"You're thinking of 'tragedy' Travesty means a comedy or parody. :)"

Even if that were the mere truth of it, why would you name your kid "parody?"

Alas, the definition of travesty is much more specific than this mommy realizes.

travesty: noun.
1. a literary or artistic burlesque of a serious work or subject, characterized by grotesque or ludicrous incongruity of style, treatment, or subject matter.
2. a literary or artistic composition so inferior in quality as to be merely a grotesque imitation of its model.
3. any grotesque or debased likeness or imitation.

Yeah, when people think of my offspring, I want them to think of words like grotesque, ludicrous, incongruous, inferior quality, debased, and imitation.

Demon-WHAT?

If you want to submit your own crazy human names, please send them to dnyktblog@gmail.com. The only rule is: The names MUST be real names that have actually been bestowed upon a child, OR they must be actual suggestions or considerations for names. None of this "I heard from a friend whose cousin knew a neighbor who named their kid..." First-hand knowledge is required, folks, and don't try to pull any of the L'monjelo/O'ranjelo crap on me. I'm too hip for the urban legends.

Some contributions from my Facebook friends:

" When I worked for the radio school, I helped a young woman with her student loan application. Her name was Cinnamon Pecan and she lived on Sugar Cookie Lane. I am not kidding. When her parents sold the house she grew up on, she bought it from them. Because, in her words, 'Where else can Cinnamon Pecan live?'" [At least she has a great sense of humor!]

" Dan's mom had a client in the insurance business whose name was Romeo Conception. She never knew whether to call him 'Romeo' or 'Mr. Conception' when she had to call him." [Ya gotta watch those first/last name combinations.]

" This past school year we had an I'Muniqe (note the lack of u) and a D'Imunique. In the same class. I'll bet their mothers were crushed." [I can't get over the pronunciation of the last one.]

"My mom was a kindergarten teacher in Detroit. Two of the kids she taught were Mapleleaf MacKensie and Queen Bossie. And I know someone named Penny Nichols." [Penny Nichols...she was Bruce Banner's secretary in Zap Comics, right?]

" I went to school with a Spring Faller, a kid whose first name was Mister, and a Phuc Mi. (The last one doesn't really count, but something still tells me I'm above the national average.)" [No, the last one doesn't count, but I'm including it here because it makes me giggle.]

[Thanks to Bridget, Lissa, Nancy, and Matt for the additions! Send your tales of terrible names to dnyktblog@gmail.com!]