Thursday, August 12, 2010


If you want to submit your own crazy human names, please send them to The only rule is: The names MUST be real names that have actually been bestowed upon a child, OR they must be actual suggestions or considerations for names. None of this "I heard from a friend whose cousin knew a neighbor who named their kid..." First-hand knowledge is required, folks, and don't try to pull any of the L'monjelo/O'ranjelo crap on me. I'm too hip for the urban legends.

Some contributions from my Facebook friends:

" When I worked for the radio school, I helped a young woman with her student loan application. Her name was Cinnamon Pecan and she lived on Sugar Cookie Lane. I am not kidding. When her parents sold the house she grew up on, she bought it from them. Because, in her words, 'Where else can Cinnamon Pecan live?'" [At least she has a great sense of humor!]

" Dan's mom had a client in the insurance business whose name was Romeo Conception. She never knew whether to call him 'Romeo' or 'Mr. Conception' when she had to call him." [Ya gotta watch those first/last name combinations.]

" This past school year we had an I'Muniqe (note the lack of u) and a D'Imunique. In the same class. I'll bet their mothers were crushed." [I can't get over the pronunciation of the last one.]

"My mom was a kindergarten teacher in Detroit. Two of the kids she taught were Mapleleaf MacKensie and Queen Bossie. And I know someone named Penny Nichols." [Penny Nichols...she was Bruce Banner's secretary in Zap Comics, right?]

" I went to school with a Spring Faller, a kid whose first name was Mister, and a Phuc Mi. (The last one doesn't really count, but something still tells me I'm above the national average.)" [No, the last one doesn't count, but I'm including it here because it makes me giggle.]

[Thanks to Bridget, Lissa, Nancy, and Matt for the additions! Send your tales of terrible names to!]

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