I'm baa-aaack!

Yeah, I let the blog go silent for nigh on a year. Why? Just got bored. But I'm back again now, and hoping to get more reader interaction, which will keep me interested in continuing to post. In the meantime, enjoy some horrors from Yahoo Answers' Baby Names section, easily my favorite place to troll for terrible baby names.

Badass baby name ideas?

I'm still not sure if I'm having a boy or a girl, and I want names that not that many kids have...


sooo..

heres what i was thinking.

Draven, Legion or Law for a boy

Rayne for a girl

have any more cool name ideas? or a middle name for these? and do u like these, yes or no?
Be honest!!

THANKS! :)

[responses from the Y!A community:]

Rayne is cool..but if you're looking for badass girl names, you could use: Harley. If you want it more feminized, Harleigh. :) Good luck! :D

[Yeah, the -eigh really puts a girly spin on that whole "giving your daughter the name of a motorcycle brand that is commonly referred to as a 'Hog'" thing.]

Why would you want to give your child a badass names? That's very childish - what about when they grow up, maybe become business people? It'd sound quite silly. Why not a classy, elegant name?
Sorry I just had to say that..

[You know, once in a while a Y!A user will restore my faith in humanity. It doesn't happen often, though....]

Rayne -- sounds like a hippy's name

SUGGESTIONS:
Boys: Ash, Jett, Hawkin (or Haakon), Zane, Pierce
Girls: Katrina, Victoria, Vanessa, Eve, Phoenix, Musetta (pronounced like Muse-etta)

i don't like any of them. Law? seriously. I'd rather call my kid 'sheriff'. sorry :(

[Word up.]

Setting yourself up for failure

[Combining the parents' names into one uber-name seldom works out well for anybody. Witness the dilemma of a mommy who can't spell:]

{{HELP!}} i need a boy name and a girl name but my name and my bfs name have to be mixed in somehow.?

ok so we decided that we wanted our names in our babys name..

my name is Shade--no not like the shade u get under a tree or something its spelled Shade but pernonse like the singer Sade'

his name is steven so how do we mix a really nice boy and girl name with ours any suggestions?? HELLLLLLPPPPP PLLZZZZZ!!!

[First, let me just say this: pernonse. Wow.]

[And now, please enjoy the suggestions of the ever-helpful Yahoo Answers Baby Names community:]

Stacy. [I lol'd]

Shaven? Vensha? Heaven?

Stanley, with a C. [this would get my vote for best answer if I hadn't been banned from YA long ago.]

thats hard mama how bot Shaden Steden?

Shaden
Staven
Neveah (heaven backwards but has all the letter from both your names (girl)) [except the S.]
Saven

Sven
Shane
Aden

Aven
Shannen
Sadie

Saden
Stevanya
Sadenya
Stevina

shaven - girl
stehad - boy

(im trying this is hard lol but not impossible)
-saiden
-sandee
-evan
-shane
-shanice
-steph
-shaden (you do pronounce the sh)
-thadee (im guessing this can be like katie but with a th)
-seth

[Mommy Shade should know better than most what a bad idea it is to give her child a goofy-ass name that he or she will have to constantly tell people how to spell and pronounce for the REST OF HIS LIFE.]

Sound like wine labels.

[A prospective mommy asks Yahoo Answers:]

What do you think about these unique baby names?

Girl-
Madrid
Bellavida
Saskia

Boy-
Hart
Wylder
Riley

[For the record, L doesn't actually hate either Saskia or Hart, but I figured you might, gentle reader, so I put them in bold orange for you. The rest are horrid, though. I think we can all agree on that.]

[Also, for flip's sake, can we PLEASE stop naming children RILEY already? Riley is to the last five years as Michaela and Hayden were to ten years ago.]

You have a WHAT in your pants?

Sunnie, a dispatcher, sent in these gems (to dnytkblog@gmail.com)

A man who changed his name from something quite normal (Steven Smith, or the like) to Jiggley Boy M. Paris A. Satan. I guess it's not always parents who commit naming crimes.

Lasedrick Bloodsaw. Yeah, that's a real dude's name. Look at it again. LASEDRICK. It's not what you think. But I know what you were thinking. Kind of sexy, huh?

And Sunnie writes,

"And one more for you, fresh from the field! A woman today told me her
daughter's middle name was (pronounced) "Elsie", so I asked "starting
with an E, like Edward?" And she said "No, it's L-dot-C". What, she
wasn't good enough for a middle name, so she only gets initials?"

L.C I don't believe it. Well, on the positive side, she has the perfect name for a respectable author, which is better than having the perfect name for a respectable stripper, which is what Turquoia, another of Sunnie's real-life submissions, got from her parents.

Thanks, Sunnie. Keep 'em coming.

I would not, could not in a box.

From Yahoo Answers:

Do you like this girl nameS?

Do you like Aristella Rachele
or/and
Marlee Animaila

Which name do you prefer?

Grey or Keavan?

Keavan is like Kevin, only a kee sound intead of a kev sound (kee-vin) i realize they might not be your style but please just pick one.

What do you think of this name for a little blonde boy?

I came up with this name it's chadison like madison but with chad in front we would call him chad but his full name would be chadison be honest

[what about a full-grown blonde man named Chadison? We're not just naming little wee babbies, remember.]

What sounds better or cuter?

No ugly comments please about spelling just would like to know what is cuter or better then thee others

Skyleigh
Shayleigh
Shyleigh-Shileigh
Shayleah

[Ugh.]

It's not just in the U.S., folks.

[Andy from the U.K. writes:]

The daughter of a friend of mine grew up in Brighton, a city with a fairly large number of Alternative Lifestyle parents, and this does result in some howlers: the worst two of which were Geronimo and Rin-Tin-Tin. Geronimo (who would be about 15 now) presumably calls himself “Gerry”, but poor Rin-Tin-Tin wasn’t even male (like the dog). She was a girl.

My son Nicholas had the slightly odd experience of there being two classmates called Tiger (one male, one female) , but no other Nicholas.

My wife’s cousin insisted on calling her daughter “Moana” (pronounced “Mo-Anna”). From the greek, literally “person of the sea”, however you just know it will be pronounced “Moan-er” at school. To make things worse this is actually quite a common name in the South Pacific, where it is a man’s name.

Oh, and I used to have a step-daughter called Nemone (ne-monny, “memorable”, not nee-moan). At least her father mas persuaded not to spell it with an “M” on the beginning… (of course there is now a disk jockey called Nemone, so it’s not as unusual as it used to be, but it was amusing that for a period at school her two best friends were called “Melanie” and “Naomi”.

[Thanks for the note, Andy...I think!]

Really? You've never heard these before?

From a question/answer site:

Unique Names That Are to Cute!

I love differnt names and want to know the strangest and cutest you've heard. I work ina daycare and know so many names that I will have to name my children something i've never heard of b/c i'll always think of that child I knew plus I like different names...Some are
-jaidyn
-london
-jersey
-peyton
-heaven
-ellie
-ava
these are girl names and boys all I have is trenton

[Really? You've never heard these before? At your daycare? Where you're taking care of the latest crop of kiddies whose parents decided to give them trendy names, too? Anyway, read on for some suggestions from this site.]

What about paradise for a girl

If the doctor tells me wednesday that i'm having a girl, we'll name her ava elizabeth. if it's a boy, it's destin.

Chrissasia is a beautiful name.

What about: chrishelle, skyanne or sky-anne

Those are some pretty names. I also like: mettea, zakiya, lennon, lachlan

Don't name your kid heaven! Just don't! The other names are cute though. But not Jersey. London...ehhh. [finally, some sense. And she can capitalize most of the time, which speaks in favor of her intelligence.]

[Originator of the thread comes back to say:]

Ah I really like jersey I think that is our defint name if we ever get preggo jersey

[Can I just say that I hate the word "preggo?" Also, for god's sake, learn how to spell.]

Cute and unusual - GIRLS: Teilor Jamison (pronounced Taylor), Saige Winterlynn, Linden Marine, Charleign Haper (pronounced Charleen), Joshlynn Avery, Ainsley, Ellasyn, Jaetyn, Kaylor, Leighton [it's back!], Macyn, Rayan
BOYS: Blaise Nolan, Zayne Ryland, Kayd Alixander, Dayton Parker, Acton, Karston, Madden, Manning, Urban, Zacharee

Okay, yes!! I love weird names. Here is a list of names I've put together. (They all mean something to me...)
MALE NAMES: Fagan Ray, Brogan, Stetson Lee, Anaximander, Thales Reed, Eliezar, Cagney, Jerusalem, Jericho, Jethro
FEMALE NAMES: Sadie Eyre, Aspiasiah, Britain, Denver, Kenzington, Rilee, Holland, Hananiah, Caesarea, Odessa