World of Namecraft

Guess what these parents do in their spare time. From Yahoo Answers (of course!)

Help with baby boy names please? Can you help me put these names together?

We have complied a list of our favorite names and are having difficulty putting them together. It is important to us to have 2 or even 3 middle names so matching 3 or 4 names is appreiciated. Here are the names we love. (Please don't say anything negative about our choices, we've already decided we love them...all we want is help putting them together. Not opinions on the names themselves.)

[Okay. Promise.]

Aiden, Cedric, Brent, Jasper, Brendon, Thomas, Emerson, Carson, Elliott, Ansleigh [for a boy??], Cameron, Jess, Clarence [so far, so good...these are all pretty solid boy names. I might even be convinced of Ansleigh, especially if it was buffered by a good baker's dozen of additional, normal names.] Lysander [what??], James, Jace, Collin [Oh, thank goodness. Back on solid ground!], Fauntleroy [...], William, Elbereth [???], Legolas [!!!], Atticus, Brendon, Cole, Artemis/Artemas [ACK!] Technically Artemis is a girl name [yes, it is!] and Artemas is the male form [I think you made that up!] but we really like the female spelling...do you think it can be spelled Artemis without sounding too feminine?

[Wow.]

[Some name combinations, huh? How about Artemis Fauntleroy Legolas Elbereth Smith. BACK AWAY FROM THE HERALDIC SHIELD AND PUT DOWN THINE BROADSWOARD, I PRITHEE.]

It's A Travesty

Check out some of the names on an "I'm thinking of naming my girl this" list straight from Yahoo Answers. Be prepared for horror.

Amity Lane, Dariella Harlow, Travesty Brielle, Willow Travesty, Journey Lane, Sonnet Viola, Harvest Harlow, Ocean Lily, Thandie Carter, Santino Carmine [yes, Santino is a boy's name], Loyal Travesty, Havilyn Lee, Havilyn Loyal.

When called out on how naming your kid Travesty is a really, really bad idea, the mommy-to-be responded with:

"You're thinking of 'tragedy' Travesty means a comedy or parody. :)"

Even if that were the mere truth of it, why would you name your kid "parody?"

Alas, the definition of travesty is much more specific than this mommy realizes.

travesty: noun.
1. a literary or artistic burlesque of a serious work or subject, characterized by grotesque or ludicrous incongruity of style, treatment, or subject matter.
2. a literary or artistic composition so inferior in quality as to be merely a grotesque imitation of its model.
3. any grotesque or debased likeness or imitation.

Yeah, when people think of my offspring, I want them to think of words like grotesque, ludicrous, incongruous, inferior quality, debased, and imitation.

STFU, and don't name your kid that.

Today while perusing the latest on STFU, Parents I came across one I just had to add to DNYKT: Dazzling.

Seriously? Dazzling? Don't name your kid that.

Following a link from the Dazzling entry, we also get Sir Devin Khan Raijin Xenophon (wow) and the name Cullen tacked onto the end of a "help us pick a name" list. Kill me now.

No. No. Don't name your kid that.

Submit your own horror-monikers to dnyktblog@gmail.com

I hope his last name is Who.

An acquaintance of G reports that there is a kid at her child's daycare named Lorax.

Really? Lorax? Good lord.